Things heated up quickly between you and a new guy. That chemistry was just undeniable. And yeah, your judgment was a little clouded at the moment.
Of course, you weren’t planning to hop into bed right away! But now you’re wondering how to keep his interest and make him see you as more than a hookup. Don’t lose hope – playing hard to get can still work, even if you already slept together!
The key is resetting the pace and making it clear you’re not the overly available, clingy type. Do things like not constantly texting back instantly, keeping up your fun social life, and leaving some mystery. You’ll have him thinking about you nonstop (in a good way). A little bit of “hard to get” goes a long way. Done right, it makes you more irresistible in his eyes.
This article covers 13 key strategies for playing hard to get – even after intimacy – to keep him captivated, compelled to put in effort, and constantly returning for more.
The article also includes insights on how to ascertain if he desires greater commitment and the optimal timing for initiating that critical relationship discussion. Ready to learn how to make him work for you after sex and feel EVEN more attracted at the same time? Let’s dive in.
13 Key Points On How To Play Hard To Get With A Guy You’ve Already Slept With
1. Don’t Constantly Text Him First
A quick way to come across as needy after you’ve had sex is to text him first constantly. This makes it look like you’re too available and chasing his validation.
Instead, make him feel unsure if you like him by leaving some of his texts unanswered. Don’t give quick replies to everything. Teasing his interest will make him feel compelled to put in more effort.
2. Don’t Always Be Available to Meet Up
Don’t always say yes when he asks if you want to get together. Even if you’re free, let him know you have other plans sometimes so he doesn’t feel like you’re just waiting around for him.
Let’s say you’re busy a couple of nights, he asks. This will make him feel like he has to plan ahead to see you again instead of just casually texting last-minute booty calls.
3. Have a Life Outside of Him
Show you don’t depend solely on him for fun or your social life. Post pics with friends and discuss the cool events you get invited to.
Mention other guys being interested in you. Making him feel like you have a lot going on apart from him will keep him trying harder out of fear he’ll lose your interest otherwise.
Don’t give off a vibe like you have nothing better to do than chase after some guy you’ve had sex with. Keep him guessing if you want or need a boyfriend since you seem pretty content already.
4. Leave Soon After Intimacy
Even after the first date, when things get intimate, they lose interest by not spending the whole night together immediately.
Make him want more by having somewhere you must be early the following day. This will keep him interested since you’re not acting overly eager or available even after sleeping together.
5. Don’t Sleep Over Every Time
Don’t let him think hooking up means he automatically gets sleepovers with you every time. Sometimes, you can keep things feeling unfinished by telling him you shouldn’t stay too late because you have an early workout or meeting friends the next day.
Avoid acting too comfortable with the routine yet. Men will think you’re easy if you stay over constantly. Once you’re done intimacy for the night, get ready to head out while you’re still looking cute.
6. Don’t Hook Up Every Time You See Him
Even if you’re still interested sexually and want to keep seeing him, don’t hook up every single time. Still, play a little hard to get in that area occasionally to keep him interested.
Let him know you sometimes feel like drinks, dinner, or chilling – not always heading straight to the bedroom. Everything you need to know about being an intriguing, exciting type of woman he’ll obsess over figuring out!
7. Enforce the Three-Day Rule Between Meet Ups
Don’t come across as someone available to hang out at the drop of a hat. Even if a guy asks to get together multiple days in a row, say you have plans for a few nights.
He’ll want you more if he thinks your schedule fills up faster than other girls. Stay elusive, so you also seem to have an exciting independent life.
8. Don’t Open Up Emotionally
Be careful not to get emotionally attached too quickly after intimacy by spilling all your secrets or insecurities. It’s like you’re not that interested in trauma bonding right now.
The best way to get him to see you as more than a fling is to play it cool and keep parts of yourself private. You’re not trying to play therapist or get into deep emotional talks this soon.
9. Remain Somewhat Mysterious
While you can let your guard down a bit physically, don’t feel like you have to reveal everything about your inner world yet.
Keep him on his toes, wondering what makes you tick. The way to play hard-to-get after you sleep with a guy is refusing to be an open book he can just read easily in those more profound ways. Stay intriguing by remaining mysterious at times so he stays challenged in figuring you out.
10. Occasionally Reject His Advances
It can be effective to occasionally reject his sexual advances to keep a guy interested, even if you’re attracted to him.
Get with a man who understands playing hard to get works both ways. Say you don’t feel like spending the night when he initiates.
He’ll suddenly wonder why you’re not interested, hitting his hero instinct because you seem fine without hooking up, even if he’s really into it.
11. Compliment Him at Strategic Times
While you don’t want to inflate overboard a guy’s ego (especially this soon after intimacy), thoughtful compliments at key moments can make him feel great.
Tell him how sexy he looked doing something manly, how good he made you think, or how much you enjoy the passion between you two. Men want a woman who keeps them working to earn her praise.
12. Focus on Yourself and Pursuing Your Goals
Keep conversations light versus heavy talks about “feelings” or the relationship, primarily if intimacy occurs quickly.
Someone who knows themselves and has a busy life will always be more appealing. He could lose interest if you seem 100% available to keep sleeping together or chase his validation.
Don’t let hooking up derail your pursuit of interests and friendships. Ensure you continue focusing on goals that matter to you outside of him.
13. Avoid Relationship Talks in the Beginning
Early on, don’t initiate “where are we heading” types of talks yet – that is the fastest way to make him lose interest after getting physically intimate quickly.
Keep it light and let things unfold organically rather than force serious relationship conversations immediately. You just started seeing each other, after all!
The last thing you want is to come across as overly invested in labels, his intentions, or the future after hooking up. Continue to focus on having fun together.
What If He Only Wanted Sex?
He stops putting in effort to make plans
If you notice he’s not trying as hard to lock down dates after getting intimate, he might have just been in it for the hookup. But don’t worry – you can still play hard to get and regain a guy’s interest even after sleeping together. The best way to get a guy obsessed is to be someone who doesn’t make it too easy.
Noncommittal about seeing you again
If he’s wishy-washy about making more concrete plans with you, that’s not always a great sign. Men don’t want to feel tied down or nagged for commitment. But you can still play hard to get in these cases to rekindle his interest.
Stop always being the one to initiate or ask to hang out. Don’t act overly concerned even if you want to get intimate again soon.
Boots calls become his main communication
If most of his texts start suspiciously late at night, he might see you as a convenient hookup now. But don’t fret – you can still play this game, too!
Stop replying quickly to every random ” Hey, what’s up? ” message. Keep your schedule looking fun and full on social media.
Making him work harder again is key, even if your goal is ultimately just a sexy friends with benefits situation for now.
How to Tell He Wants More
Asks you personal questions
If a guy asks you many questions about your hopes, family, interests, etc, that’s a good sign. But make it hard for him to uncover everything overnight.
Keep parts of yourself purposefully mysterious. Many men lose interest fast when women spill their whole life story instantly. Make him feel privileged when you share private details bit by bit.
Opens up about his life
If he volunteers personal information without prompting, it’s a promising sign. But you don’t have to banish all protective walls yet, either.
Let him reveal intimate details first while you remain slightly more elusive and guarded. There is no need to seem overly interested in bonding deeply super fast.
Makes thought-out date plans
If he starts planning creative date ideas well in advance, he’s likely into you as more than a hookup. But don’t just be at his beck and call now, either!
Playing hard-to-get the right way means occasionally having other plans when he asks you out some nights. Keep him chasing, trying to pin down special time together.
You don’t want to seem like a total pushover. Make men feel lucky to get actual quality dates on your calendar.
When to Have the Relationship Talk
After 2-3 months of dating
According to relationship experts, this is usually an appropriate timeframe before having a relationship talk. When women play hard to get in consistent ways, it can trigger his hero instinct and make him wait longer for emotional intimacy. But you can make him consider committing after a few months if things are going well together.
If you want clarity about where it’s heading
If you want to know if he sees real relationship potential, you can text him, “Where do you see this going?” after 2-3 months.
In the early days, take it slow, playing hard to get, so he’ll take you seriously when dating. But comes a time for a check-in chat to avoid getting hurt by vagueness.
If you’re ready for more commitment
Withholding sex indefinitely often backfires. But you can talk if you feel ready for something more committed after a reasonable period.
Let him know you’re interested in focusing energy there rather than continuing to date around long-term with no direction casually.
He’ll know where you stand. If he steps up after a few months, he likely sees you as relationship material worth fighting for.
Final Thoughts
To keep a guy interested after intimacy happens quickly, play hard to get by being less available, focusing on your friends, and keeping an air of mystery.
Be selective with your attention, occasionally compliment him, and avoid serious relationship talks. Set reasonable boundaries and add some excitement to rekindle the spark. A little unpredictability and chase goes a long way.
