Have you ever met a guy who flirts with you even though he’s already in a relationship? It can initially make you feel special when a cutie seems into you. But things get confusing when you realize he has a girlfriend while texting and calling you romantically.
Sometimes, guys cozy up to another woman because they have problems with their current relationship. Maybe his girlfriend doesn’t make him feel loved or appreciated anymore. Or he got into a big fight with her. Whether or not he intends to leave his girlfriend, flirting with you becomes an escape from those relationship problems.
This article will explore the top 13 reasons a guy might pursue you when he already has a girlfriend, along with tips on what to do if you ever find yourself in that situation.
Regardless of why he’s suddenly showing interest when he’s already dating someone, you deserve an explanation before things progress. While it can be an ego boost to have a guy chasing you, you have to look out for yourself and not enable any cheating. Let’s read on.
13 Reasons He Wants You (Even If He Has A Girlfriend)
There are some reasons why a guy has a girlfriend but still wants to pursue you romantically, even though he is already involved with someone else. Here are some of the most common explanations for this confusing situation.
1. Unhappy in His Relationship
The number one reason a guy might tell you he has an existing relationship but still flirts is that he is unhappy with his current girlfriend.
There are signs a guy is looking to cheat or exit a committed relationship when he lacks an emotional connection with his partner.
Even if it’s been years, he doesn’t feel fulfilled. Getting involved with someone new like you is a temptation if he’s craving affection.
2. Not Serious About Her
If a guy has a girlfriend but starts showing serious interest in you, it could be that he doesn’t see his current relationship as very committed.
Maybe they agreed it’s more of a no-strings-attached situation. Or perhaps there are signs that a guy is losing interest and keeping his options open.
Regardless, he might pursue you on the side because he doesn’t value loyalty or commitment as much right now.
3. Open to Non-Monogamy
Sometimes, a boyfriend might talk to other girls because his girlfriend says it’s ok. They agree he can have special friendships on the side. Even though he still dates his main girlfriend, she lets him text other girls without getting mad.
Before spending more time with him yourself, ask questions to understand exactly what’s going on between them. Ensure he isn’t cheating behind her if you don’t want to get stuck in drama.
4. Stronger Connection with You
Sometimes, a guy who’s already taken pursues another woman like you not because he doesn’t value relationships but because he feels a genuine soulmate-level connection with you. If a committed guy risks it all, there’s a good chance you wow him for who you are.
Before you start dating a boy who already has a girlfriend but asks you out anyway, watch what he does closely.
Check that he’s trying to leave his old relationship the right way. See if he honestly tells his girlfriend he likes someone new now instead of just sneaking around. Make sure he’s being respectful.
5. Argument with Girlfriend
One of the most common reasons a man who’s already involved might try to cheat on his girlfriend is if they just had a big fight recently, and he’s looking to blow off steam.
Maybe he’s hoping making you jealous will force her to address their lingering relationship issues. But that isn’t fair to any party.
Be cautious about getting involved with a guy who still wants something with his girlfriend but comes on to you because he’s mad at her.
6. She Cheated First
Unfortunately, some guys cheat on their girlfriends as revenge after already finding out she was unfaithful herself first.
A man in a relationship looking for validation elsewhere commonly wants his girlfriend to hurt like he did after being betrayed. But two wrongs don’t make a right.
If you’ve developed feelings for a guy who’s giving you attention to get back at his girlfriend for cheating rather than because he genuinely likes you more or wants to leave her, be wary. It rarely ends well.
7. Wants to Seem Like a Player
Sometimes, a guy has a girlfriend but also wants attention from other girls because he cares a lot about projecting a “player” image to his friends.
He wants multiple relationships to seem cool and desirable for many reasons. But that type of man often avoids deeper connections, so he is unlikely to leave his current girlfriend anytime soon.
8. Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is one of the unfortunate reasons why men sometimes want to pursue women other than their girlfriends.
Maybe his friends tease him that he’s too “whipped” if he doesn’t flirt with attractive women once committed. Or they dare him to get your number to prove a point, which could tempt some guys even if they are otherwise faithful.
If you find out a guy already in a relationship has an interest because friends pushed him and does not have genuine feelings for someone new, it likely won’t become serious.
9. Bored in Relationship
When the spark fades in even the best relationships, both partners can lose interest and stop putting in effort like they used to.
Suppose a guy doesn’t feel excited to be around his girlfriend anymore, and their bond has gotten boring after the initial magic wore off.
In that case, he might seek attention elsewhere out of boredom rather than actual feelings. But that lack of communication won’t lead to fulfillment in the long term, either.
10. Feels Neglected by Her
Sometimes, the emotional and physical bonds fade in a long-term relationship if life gets busy with work, kids, etc.
A guy tells you he has a girlfriend but wants to pursue something new because he feels neglected by her being less attentive, not because he wants to end things necessarily.
He may crave that honeymoon phase rush again. But building genuine relationships takes effort he may not commit to.
11. Cheating is Fun For Him
Unfortunately, some men don’t take commitment seriously and cheat even if their relationship isn’t necessarily unstable.
A guy who likes you and wants affection from someone new might get an adrenaline thrill from knowing he’s going behind his girlfriend’s back. Like wanting to seem like a player, that lack of integrity doesn’t make for a lasting partnership.
12. You Have Something She Doesn’t
In rare cases, a guy who already has a girlfriend becomes interested in someone else not just because he wants variety but because you specifically have something unique his current partner lacks.
Maybe he feels like you really “get” him. Or that you can provide financial opportunities or social connections. But it’s still risky; use caution when pursuing married men.
13. Keeping You as Backup Option
Some men never want to feel like they’ll be single, so they string multiple women along, enjoying affection from every girl who will give them the time of day.
A guy who tells you he likes you and wants to be around you often but without fully committing may keep you on the hook as a backup option in case his main girlfriend walks away someday. Know your worth, and don’t settle for anything less than complete devotion from a partner.
What To Do If A Guy With A Girlfriend Wants You
Be Cautious – Consider His Intentions
If a guy in a relationship starts pursuing you, be cautious since you don’t know his true intentions yet. Maybe he wants to break things off respectfully with his girlfriend before starting a relationship.
But he could also just be using you to make her jealous without planning to dump his girlfriend. Consider signs he likes you for you before getting hurt over someone who doesn’t.
Communicate – Ask About His Situation
Wondering, “If he has a girlfriend, why does he flirt with me?” is understandable. But avoid playing guessing games. Maturely communicate to find out exactly what’s going on if a guy wants a new relationship with you.
Ask if he has permission to flirt or if he’s looking for something casual. Be direct about what you want moving forward, like a fully committed partner.
Set Boundaries – Don’t Enable Cheating
If someone who’s already taken pursues you primarily because he wants affection without entirely leaving his current partner, be very wary. You deserve a fulfilling relationship with someone entirely devoted to you, not halfway out the door.
Make your standards and boundaries clear. If he violates his girlfriend’s trust, he may do the same to you. Don’t enable cheating in the meantime.
Know Your Worth – You Deserve Full Commitment
At the first signs a guy is flirting when he’s already committed, it’s understandable to feel tempted by the thrill of “forbidden fruit.” But don’t lose sight of your self-worth – you deserve a partner entirely devoted to your happiness.
Though it’s possible he genuinely likes you more and wants to build a relationship together after leaving his current girlfriend respectfully, that’s rare.
More often, married men want variety without commitment. Walk away rather than waiting around as an option.
Walk Away to Avoid Drama and Hurt
If communicating openly doesn’t indicate he’s trying to exit his current relationship, it likely won’t stop at innocent flirting.
And knowingly enabling a partner’s cheating usually backfires. Even if you’ve dated before, reconnect when you’re both free.
Rather than waiting hopefully on the sidelines, remove yourself from the situation. While no one can fulfill all needs forever, seek self-confidence to expect faithfulness. Value your needs.
Final Thoughts
When a guy who’s already taken shows interest and starts flirting, many girls wonder, “Why does he want me if he has a girlfriend?” While the temptation of a new relationship can be exciting, proceed cautiously before getting hurt.
Communicate clearly about his intentions – is he polyamorous or just bored and seeking attention? He may often lack respect for relationships at this stage in life.
While you deserve a fully committed partner, this type of guy often views new girls as conquests while stringing multiple ladies along.
Know your worth and refuse to play games long-term. The right man will be so devoted to you that the thought of risking your bond, even playfully, seems unimaginable because he likes you for you. Value that type of genuine connection.
